Thought 30DEC2009

ANGER PREVENTION KIT
A match stick has a head, but it does not have a brain.

Therefore, whenever there is a little friction, it flares up immediately. Now, at times the effects of this flaring up can be devastating as it can engulf a whole lot of many things and play havoc and cause destruction.

We have a lesson to learn from this tiny match-stick. All of us have heads. And unlike the match-stick, we have brains as well. Therefore, our wisdom lies in not reacting on impulse - a habit of great importance when managing people.
extracted from 'Management Thoughts' by Promod Batra, Golden Book Centre Sdn Bhd, reprinted 1995
Nyeng mu a hukbiten ta isek ni tatumuk / Grasp the opportunity because the bed bugs will carry and hide them inside the floor - Ivatan Proverb

Thought 29DEC2009

MY DAUGHTER, MY TEACHER
Children teach us something every day. As a parent, I have learned to expect this.. Yet sometimes the extent of my daughter teaches surprises me. When Marissa was six months old, it seemed she was always looking up. As I gazed upward with her, I learned the magic of leaves dancing on trees and the awesome size of the tail of a jet. At eight months she was forever looking down. I learned that each stone is different, sidewalk cracks make intricate designs and blades of grass come in variety of greens. Then she turned 11 months and began saying "Wow!" She spoke this marvelous words for anything new and wonderful to her, such as the assortment of toys she spotted in the pediatrician's office of the gathering of clouds before a storm. She whispered, "Oh, wow!" for things that really impressed her, like a brisk breeze on her face or a flock of geese honking overhead. Then there was the ultimate in "Wow," mouthing of the word with no sound, reserved for truly awesome events. These included the sunset on a lake after a magnificent day in Minnesota and fireworks in the summer sky.

She has taught me many ways to say "I love you." She said it well one morning when she was 14 months old. We were cuddling. She buried her head in my shoulder and with a sigh of contentment, said "Happy." Another day (during her terrific twos) she pointed to a beautiful model on the cover of a magazine and said, "Is that you, Mom?" Most recently my now three-year-old walked into the kitchen while I was cleaning up after supper and said, "Can I help?" Shortly after this she put her hand on my arm and said, "Mom, if you were a kid, we'd be friends." At moments like this, all I can say is, "Oh, wow!"
Janet S Meyer - extracted from 'Chicken Soup for the Mother's Soul', Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Jennifer Read Hawthorne and Marci Shimoff, Health Communications, Inc., 1997.
A visitor comes with ten blessings, eats one, and leaves nine - Kurdish Proverb

Thought 24DEC2009

JOSH AND HIS JAG
About ten years ago a young and a very successful executive named Josh was travelling down a Chicago neighbourhood street. He was travelling a bit fast in his sleek, black, sixteen-cylinder Jaguar XKE, which was only two months old. He watched for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no child darted out, but a brick sailed and - whump - smashed into the Jag's shiny side door. SCREECH! Brakes slammed. Gears pounded into reverse and tires madly spun the Jaguar back to the spot from where the brick was thrown. Josh jumped out of the car, grabbed the kid and pushed him up against a parked car. He shouted at the kid, "Just what was that about? Who do you think you are?" Building up a head of steam he continued, "That's my new Jag; that brick is going to cost you plenty. Why did you throw it?"

"Please ... please, mister, I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do," pleaded the youngster. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop." Tears were dripping down the boy's chin as he pointed around the parked car. "It's my brother, mister," he said. "He fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up." Sobbing, the boy asked the executive, "Would you please help him back into his wheelchair? He's too heavy for me." Moved beyond words, the young executive tried desperately to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He helped the youngster upright the wheelchair and the two of them lifted his brother back into the chair. It was a long, long walk back to the sleek, black, sixteen-cylinder Jaguar XKE - a long and slow walk. Now, Josh never did fix the side door of his Jaguar. It reminded him not to go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at him to get his attention.
Josh Ridker - extracted from 'a 5th portion of Chicken Soup for the Soul', Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen, Health Communications, Inc., 1998
Ability has no school - Kurdish Proverb

Thought 23DEC2009

GRANDMA RUBY
Being a mother of two very active boys, ages seven and one, I am sometimes worried about their making a shambles of my carefully decorated home. In their innocence and play, they occasionally knock over my favourite lamp or upset my well-designed arrangements. In these moments when nothing feels sacred, I remember the lesson I learned from my wise mother-in-law, Ruby. Ruby is the mother of 6 and grandmother of 13. She is the embodiment of gentleness, patience and love. One Christmas, all children and grandchildren were gathered as usual at Ruby's home. Just the month before, Ruby had bought beautiful new white carpeting after living with the 'same old carpet' for over 25 years. She was overjoyed with the new look it gave her home.

My brother-in-law, Arnie, had just distributed his gifts for all the nieces and nephews - prized homemade honey from his beehives. They were excited. But as fate would have it, eight-year-old Sheena spilled her tub of honey on Grandma's new carpeting and trailed it throughout the entire downstairs of the house. Crying, Sheena ran into the kitchen and into Grandma Ruby's arms. "Grandma, I've spilled my honey all over your brand new carpet." Grandma Ruby knelt down, looked tenderly into Sheena's tearful eyes and said, "Don't worry sweetheart, we can get you more honey."
Lynn Robertson - extracted from 'Chicken Soup for the Woman's Soul', Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Jennifer Read Hawthorne & Marci Shimoff, Health Communications, Inc., 1996.
Gebel ma gebel ma jiltaqa', izda wicc ma wicc jiltaqa' / Mountain does not meet mountain, but a face meets another face - Maltese proverb

Thought 22DEC2009

THE OBSTACLE IN OUR PATH
In ancient times, a king had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the kingdom's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the big stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along, carrying a load of vegetables. On approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded.

As the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the king indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many others never understand : Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve one's condition.
Brian Cavanaugh - extracted from 'A cup of chicken soup for the soul', Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen & Barry Spilchuk, Health Communications, Inc., 1996
A bad name is like a stigma - South Sotho Proverb

Thought 21DEC2009

A SIMPLE GESTURE
Mark was walking home from school one day when he noticed the boy ahead of him had tripped and dropped all of the books he was carrying, along with two sweaters, a baseball bat, a glove and a small tape recorder. Mark knelt down and helped the boy pick up the scattered articles. Since they were going the same way, he helped to carry part of the burden. As they walked Mark discovered the boy's name was Bill, that he loved video games, baseball and history, that he was having a lot of trouble with his other subjects and that he had just broken up with his girlfriend.

They arrived at Bill's home first and Mark was invited for a Coke and to watch some television. The afternoon passed pleasantly with a few laughs and some shared small talk, then Mark went home. They continued to see each other around school, had lunch together once or twice, then both graduated from junior high school. They ended up in the same high school where they had brief contacts over the years. Finally the long awaited senior year came, and three weeks before graduation, Bill asked Mark if they could talk.

Bill reminded him of the day years ago when they had first met. "Do you ever wonder why I was carrying so many things home that day?" asked Bill. "You see, I cleaned out my locker because I didn't want to leave a mess for anyone else. I had stored away some of my mother's sleeping pills and I was going home to commit suicide. But after we spent some time together talking and laughing, I realized that if I had killed myself, I would have missed that time and so many others that might follow. So you see, Mark, when you picked up my books that day, you did a lot more. You saved my life."
John W Schlatter - extracted from 'Chicken Soup for the Soul, Jack Canfield & Mark Victor Hansen,Health Communication,Inc, 1993.
Cuanto menos se diga, mejor / menos hay que rectificar / Least said, soonest mended - Spanish Proverb
!!! BE GOOD - DO GOOD - THINK GOOD - FEEL GOOD - LIVE GOOD !!!

Thought 17DEC2009

WRITE DOWN YOUR FIVE MOST STUBBORN POSITIONS AND SEE IF YOU CAN SOFTEN THEM
The first time I tried this strategy, I was stubborn that I insisted that I wasn't stubborn! Over time, as I have worked toward becoming a gentler person, I have found it far easier to see where I'm being stubborn. Here are a few examples from my clients : "Perhaps who aren't stressed are lazy." "My way is the only way." "Men aren't good listeners." "Women spend too much money." "Children are too much work." "People in business don't care about anything except money." You can see that the list itself is potentially endless. The point here isn't the specifics of what you are stubborn about but rather that you hold on so tightly to any given idea you might have.

It doesn't make you weak to soften your positions. In fact it makes you stronger. I have a male client who was adamant, to the point of being obnoxious about it, that his wife spent too much money. As he relaxed a little and noticed his own rigidity, he discovered something that he's now a little embarrassed about, but laughs at. He found out that, in reality, he spent more discretionary money on himself than his wife spent on herself! His objectivity had become muddled by his own rigid belief. As he has become wiser and gentler, his marriage has improved immensely. Rather than resenting his wife for something she wasn't even doing, he now appreciates her restraint. She, in turn, feels his new acceptance and appreciation and loves him more than before.
Richard Carlson, PhD - Extracted from his book "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff ... and it's all small stuff", Hyperion, 1997
El que algo quiere, algo le cuesta / He that would have the fruit must climb the tree - Spanish Proverb

Thought 15DEC2009

BE HAPPY WHERE YOU ARE
Sadly, many of us continually postpone our happiness - indefinitely. It's not that we consciously set out to do so, but that we keep convincing ourselves, "Someday I'll be happy." We tell ourselves we'll be happy when our bills are paid, when we get out of school, get our first job, a promotion. We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough - we'll be more content when they are. After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation, when we retire. And on and on and on!

Meanwhile, life keeps moving forward. The truth is, there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. One of my favourite quotes comes from Alfred D' Souza. He said, "For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, some thing to be got through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served. a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life." This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.
Richard Carlson, PhD - Extracted from his book "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff ... and it's all small stuff", Hyperion, 1997
Study from new books but from old teachers - Kurdish Proverb

Thought 14DEC2009

WHAT IS SUCCESS?
To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty; To find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived; This is to have succeeded.
Ralph Waldo Emerson - extracted from 'Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul', Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen and Kimberly Kirberger, Health Communications, Inc., 1997
Amigo y vino, el mas antiguo / Old friends and old wine and old gold are best - Spanish Proverb

Thought 11DEC2009

FOREVER, FOR ALWAYS AND NO MATTER WHAT!
Our daughter Ariana moved from baby to toddler with her share of the usual bumps and scrapped knees. On these occasions, I'd hold out my arms and say, "Come see me." She'd crawl into my lap, we'd cuddle and I'd say, "Are you my girl?" Between tears she'd nod her head yes. Then I'd say, "My sweetie, beetie Ariana girl?" She'd nod her head, this time with a smile. And I'd end with, "And I love you forever, for always and no matter what!" With a giggle and a hug, she was off and ready for her next challenge.

Ariana is now four-and-a-half. We've continued "come see me" time for scrapped knees and bruised feelings, for "good mornings" and "good nights."A few weeks ago, I had "one of those days." I was tired, cranky and overextended taking care of a four-year-old, twin teenage boys and a home business. Each phone call or knock at the door brought another full day's worth of work that needed to be done immediately! I reached my breaking point in the afternoon and went into my room for a good cry.

Ariana soon came to my side and said, "Come see me." She curled up beside me, put her sweet little hands on my damp cheeks and said, "Are you my mommy?" Between my tears I nodded my head yes. "My sweetie, beetie mommy?" I nodded my head and smiled. "And I love you forever, for always and no matter what!" A giggle, a big hug and I was off and ready for my next challenge.
Jeanette Lisefski - extracted from 'Chicken Soup for the Mother's Soul', Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Jennifer Read Hawthorne and Marci Shimoff, Health Communications, Inc., 1997
What the heart thinks, the mouth speaks - Kurdish Proverb